The Let Them Eat Cake terror level has been raised from a steady “Angelfood” to a truly alarming “Black Forest” after comments made by certain Presidential candidates today. One candidate in particular suggested that students needed to engage in a, “really good technological way,”. Others emphasized strongly the need to translate all reports and minutes to electronic format, and still others suggested the time honoured tradition of report writing is antiquated and should be “updated”.

Friends, I think it’s clear to see what is happening here. The AMS has been invaded by techno-loving cyborgs. Looking back, we should have seen this coming. Webvote, Vista, AMSLink- even credit and debit machines at AMS businesses have all been, in reality, harbringers of a dark, matrix-esque apocalypse wherein the men and women of UBC will be forcibly assimilated by cyborg oppressors.

We must start asking the important questions; where did these cyborgs come from, how did they infiltrate our student elections- and most importantly do their cybernetic parts run on some kind of sustainable energy source???? And when the cyborg revolution comes, will your operating system be windows or linux? These are the things we must know to stave off the coming invasion- or at least educate ourselves on prior to the arrival of their mother cube on campus when we can only assume their vengeance will as swift and merciless and painful as listening to their debates have been thusfar. Be prepared UBC. Be prepared.
-S