Here at EATCAKE, we’re just like you. If you tickle us, we will laugh. If you prick us, we will bleed, etc, etc. So it only stands to reason that if you bore us, we will facebook. Facebook stalking was once a dirty little secret of mine, and by secret I mean not a secret at all, but something I felt was mildly morally questionable. This is clearly no longer the case. I have experienced face-stalking liberation and now find it appropriate to discuss and broadcast the findings of my excursions on facebook to friends, and anonymous reader alike. Prominently featured today on the wonderful world of the UBC network is Jeff Friedrich. At this time I would like to point out that although all the attention I’ve given Friedrich in the past few days admittedly makes it appear as though I’m harbouring some ridiculous Seth Cohen to Ryan Atwood man-crush on Mr. Friedrich, that it is simply not the case. I do however have a mild obsession with his profile picture. Let’s all examine it together shall we? There are really so many interpretations possible. It appears that Friedrich is gazing into the endless possibilities of becoming AMS President, and/or BoG representative, as symbolized by the vast and imposing mountain range of glorious British Columbia. I suppose it is equally possible Jeff Friedrich has just witnessed the crash landing of an extra terrestrial, and in his overwhelming shock has tumbled to the ground- however he has never let his eyes glance away from the landing place of this celestial visitor. No, no, he holds his gaze steadfast, iron clad … like his resolve to better our esteemed campus? Alternately, Friedrich could have just awoken from a delightful mid-day nap, which would certainly make him more relatable to this reporter. I freaking love naps. However one is forced to ponder what the choice to cultivate mid-day bed-head really means for this candidate.  The location chosen for this afternoon snooze may be equally troubling. If Friedrich is capable of napping in such a crude and potentially uncomfortable setting would he be even more likely to declare beauty sleep hour in the middle of crucial AMS meetings? Does he suffer from undiagnosed narcolepsy, or is this some sort of sordid nap-addiction caught on camera? Furthermore could this makeshift sleep-loft Friedrich appears to be using represent his opinion of quality student housing, and if so will it still cost 500+ a month?

            As you can see, the shenanigans can go on for hours. These shenanigans are so versatile, in fact, that they could inspire their very own weekly comedy hour hosted by some washed up celebrity like Tara Reid who would really just show up incredibly inebriated every week, and ramble off some rubbish about how hot her career used to be, and how she can’t believe “Taradise” was cancelled. I invite you to do the same. Not ramble about taradise, although if you videotape your escapades involving that I would not be adverse to viewing them- but rather to facebook stalk your AMS candidates to your heart’s content and email me your thoughts, comments, and observations. If you make me laugh I’ll post them here, and the world can sample your  baked goods for a change. And on that semi-inappropriate note…

-S