Fine Yian. Make me a liar! While it’s still true that yesterday’s VP debates were so boring that the alternate event occuring in the same timeslot entitled “watching a painting, of grass growing, dry” was extremely well attended -this morning is a brand new day and there is a brand new story. I don’t know if I’m breaking this news but GOD I HOPE SO. Journalistic integrity at last! I see a pulitzer in my future. I see published works based on this article. I see a bio-pic starring Ryan Phillipe that would catapult him to the upper echelons of Hollywood stardom and make everyone forget “Wingcommander” or whatever the fuck that movie was called. So without any further ado:
       EAT CAKE EXCLUSIVE: Choose your own Adventure!!!

  We are thrilled to be able to report (because we are thrilled to be able to report ANYTHING)

    A) that the VP Admin race has officially been cancelled. Rumor has it that VP Admin Candidate Yian recently slept with an older distinguished gentleman who had also slept with his mother, and his grandfather as well as being the topic of a bestselling novel and as a result has suffered a nervous breakdown.

   B) the VP Admin race has been official cancelled. A press release from Yian suggests that he has realized that his true passion is Construction. He can now be found on wreck beach constructing tiny student union buildings made entirely of sand and discarded bongs.

  C) the VP Admin race has officially been cancelled. UBC insider buzz suggests that Yian was breaking elections code outside the sub. This could mean anything from selling his body to the night to the delight of cougars everywhere- or just campaiging with his laptop- But that would be lame wouldn’t it?

YOU DECIDE!
-S